THESE are the warning signs that you’re addicted to work and how to avoid stress, according to therapists and psychologists.
Working evenings, weekends and holidays has become the norm for many small business owners, with the pressure to keep customers happy, manage cash flow and grow a company often leaving little room to switch off.
But experts say there is an important difference between working hard and becoming psychologically dependent on work.
Therapists, psychologists and wellbeing specialists warn that work addiction is rarely about loving your job.
Instead, it is often driven by deeper emotional needs, including the desire for validation, feelings of insecurity, financial pressure or using work as a distraction from difficulties elsewhere in life.
Many say people can become so closely identified with their careers that their sense of self becomes inseparable from their professional success.
The experts agree that the warning signs are less about the number of hours worked and more about how someone responds when they stop.
Feeling guilty, anxious or restless during downtime, struggling to take breaks, constantly thinking about work and neglecting relationships or personal wellbeing can all indicate an unhealthy relationship with work.
While ambition is often celebrated, they say lasting success depends on creating boundaries, allowing time for genuine rest and recognising that personal worth extends far beyond productivity.
For many people work is easier than real life
Kellie Whitby, Therapist at This is Only Your Life, said a warning sign is being unable to stop working properly in the evenings and weekends.
She added: “It’s not about how many hours you work. It’s about whether your nervous system can tolerate stopping. If slowing down makes you anxious, guilty or restless, your body may be stuck in survival mode and crave safety from a dysregulated nervous system rather than simply being hardworking.
“A lot of people think they’re resting because they’ve stopped working, but if their mind is still racing, checking emails or planning the next job, their nervous system is still on high alert. That’s not real rest.
“Work addiction isn’t always about loving your job. Often it’s a dysregulated nervous system that doesn’t know how to feel safe unless it’s busy
“Work can become a coping strategy. Many people learnt early in life that being useful, achieving or looking after everyone else made them feel safe or valued. They don’t just chase success – they’re chasing safety.
“Don’t wait until you’re burnt out. Start teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to pause. Five minutes of slow breathing, a walk without your phone or sitting quietly in nature is enough to begin telling your body, ‘The danger has passed’.”
Gill Edwards, stress and performance therapist at Gill M Edwards, said you need to take time out to relax while working.
She added: “Every 40 minutes take five minutes, either go to the bathroom, or just walk around, make yourself a drink as this helps to re-regulate the brain.
“Work out a timetable, set yourself a timetable to meet your deadline and stick to the timetable.”
Your body may be stuck in survival mode
Sally Baker, Senior Therapist at Working On The Body, said work can be toxic or help you thrive.
She added: “For many people, work is easier than real life. Do not do jobs where managers encourage a toxic workplace, work can instead be a place to achieve and gain recognition. Most work is predictable, has rules of engagement and is mostly benign.
“In jobs with a positive environment, progress towards targets is clearly mapped and successful completion or achievements are noted and praised providing much sought after self-affirmation. Compared to the wild west of real life, work can be a place to thrive.”
Dr Marianne Trent, Clinical Psychologist at Coventry-based Good Thinking Psychology, said a balance is important.
She added: “I remember when I first met the man who is now my husband, he was surprised I didn’t ‘have more hobbies’. I’ve reflected that this means I am already so fulfilled and interested in my career that really that has been my hobby.
“Now I’m a qualified self-employed psychologist, I am still very much interested in my work and it lights me up personally and professionally. I think it’s always interesting to look at what people identify as their personal and professional values. If being industrious, persistent and skilful are high up on your list then you’re likely going to prioritise your work.
“Speaking as a self-employed person who usually works flexibly, it means if there’s a quiet moment I might open my laptop even on an evening or weekend. But, like anything in life it is important that there’s balance and we do need to be able to recognise when our work hyper focus might be detracting from our own quality of life and that of those around us.”
It is important that there’s balance
Helen Llewellyn, Founder at Elemental Tribe, said people build their identity around work.
She added: “Work addiction is the addiction we applaud. It comes disguised as ambition, responsibility and being ‘the reliable one’. People build their whole identity around work and worth, until they forget they are valuable for more than what they produce.
“The antidote is not another productivity hack. It is pattern interruption. Breathe. Stop. Feel your feet. Get out of your head and back into your body. Yogic Belly Breath, Box Breathing, or standing barefoot on grass or soil can all help calm the nervous system and interrupt the constant state of urgency.
“Work addiction thrives on complexity and crisis. Recovery begins with remembering you are a human being, not a human output machine.”
Astrid Davies, Founder at Astrid Davies Consulting, said work can fill the vacuum for many.
She added: “Many people find out, all too late, that what they thought might have been an addiction to work was actually a way of defining themselves. All too often, I hear people introduce themselves in business through their job title. It’s a badge that they feel cuts to the chase of what they do.
“It’s a quick introduction that tells others about their role – and their status. The issue here is that some of the people who define themselves by status find the lack of it a real problem. This happens particularly with maternity, or at retirement. When people are either in a lovely new role, or in a role they’ve waited their lives to fill, they can find they actually don’t know who they are.
“Work has filled the vacuum, it’s protected them from digging deeper with their self knowledge. This can prove really hard and accounts for depression and aimlessness. Be known for what you do, not what your role is.”
Most business owners get trapped by success
Gary Parsons, Leadership Wellbeing Speaker, Mentor & Facili at Belper-based Selfish Thinking Co, said you can lose yourself when your head is in your business 24/7.
He added: “Most business owners don’t get addicted – they get trapped by success. I know, because I lived it. Growing my business at 250% year on year, turnover past £1 million, awards on the wall… and I was completely lost.
“I’d become so caught up in the success that my identity had blended into it. I stopped being Gary, I was just the business, and when I finally looked up, I was diagnosed with severe depression. A successful entrepreneur, by every external measure. Even now, looking back, it doesn’t sound real.
“Years later, I’ve learnt to be more selfish (in a good way). I prioritise my time, and have more awareness than I’ve ever had before. I’ve stopped measuring things I see and now measure how I feel – energy, happiness, and contentment.”
Photo by Mirella Callage on Unsplash.
